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Memorials & celebrations of life

Planning a gathering that honors someone well — whether a traditional funeral, a memorial service or a celebration of life.

Edited by Steven Royster, Licensed Funeral Director (FL) Updated How we create content

Memorial service or celebration of life?

A memorial service is held without the body present and often follows a familiar structure — music, readings, eulogy. A celebration of life is usually less formal and focuses on stories and personality. Both can happen weeks or months after a death, anywhere, and can include religious elements or none. See alternatives to a traditional funeral.

Build your order of service with our memorial service planner — choose the elements, add names, and print it.

Memorial service checklist

  • Date, time and venue (check capacity, accessibility, parking and audio-visual equipment)
  • Officiant or host — clergy, a celebrant, or a family member or friend
  • Speakers and the order they'll speak in
  • Music — live or recorded — for gathering, during and closing
  • Readings, poems or prayers and who will read them
  • Photo display, memory table, slideshow
  • Programs or an order of service
  • Guest book or memory cards
  • Flowers or a request for donations
  • Reception: food, drink, location and helpers
  • Livestream or recording for those who can't attend
  • Someone to welcome guests and someone to tidy up afterward

Celebration of life ideas

  • Hold it somewhere connected to the person — a garden, club, park, beach or favorite restaurant.
  • Invite guests to wear a favorite color or team colors.
  • Serve their favorite food or a family recipe.
  • Open the microphone for short stories, with a host to keep time.
  • Display hobbies, collections and their own creations.
  • End with an activity: a toast, a song, releasing flower petals, planting a tree.

Words: eulogies, obituaries and readings

Choosing readings and poems: look for words that reflect the person's beliefs and voice. Common sources include scripture, poetry, song lyrics, and passages from favorite books. Short pieces (one to two minutes) work best. Many funeral homes and clergy keep collections of readings; ask to see them. If you print a poem in a program, check whether it is still under copyright.

Funeral songs and music

Music is often used at three points: as guests gather, during the service (for reflection or after the eulogy), and as people leave. Choose songs that meant something to the person, hymns or sacred music if the service is religious, and instrumental pieces for reflective moments. Check the venue's equipment, have recordings ready on a device that works offline, and ask clergy whether there are restrictions on secular music in a place of worship.

Memory tables and photo displays

  • Choose 20 to 40 photos across the person's life rather than hundreds.
  • Use easels, a few frames, or photo boards; label older photos if guests might not recognize people.
  • Add a few objects that tell their story — tools of a trade, a favorite book, a uniform, a recipe card.
  • A slideshow of about 5 to 10 minutes can run before the service or at the reception.
  • Assign someone to bring everything home safely.

Funeral programs

A program usually includes the person's name, dates, a photo, the order of service, readings or lyrics, pallbearers, and a short thank-you from the family. A single folded sheet is enough. Funeral homes often offer printed programs; families can also design and print their own.

Funeral etiquette

  • Follow the family's wishes on dress, flowers and donations.
  • Arrive a little early, sign the guest book, and silence your phone.
  • Offer brief, sincere condolences; you don't need perfect words.
  • Ask before taking photos, and don't post about the death online before the family does.
  • Follow up later — a card, a call, or a specific offer of help weeks afterward often means the most.

Remembering and grieving