What are some helpful resources for coping with grief and loss?
Grief has no timetable and no right way to do it. Support is available in many forms — from people who have been there, and from professionals when you need more.
If you are thinking about harming yourself, or feel you can't go on, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 in the U.S. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Key points
- Many hospices offer free bereavement support to families, often for about a year after a death — even if you didn't use hospice yourself, some open groups to the community.
- Support groups connect you with people who understand; there are groups for specific losses, such as the death of a child, a spouse, a veteran, or a death by suicide.
- Seek professional help if grief is overwhelming, isn't easing over time, or is affecting your ability to function.
Hospice bereavement programs
Hospices that participate in Medicare must offer bereavement services to families after a patient's death, typically for up to a year. Support may include phone calls, mailings, individual counseling and support groups. If your loved one was in hospice, call the hospice and ask. Many hospices also run community grief groups that anyone can attend.
Support groups
Being with others who are grieving can reduce isolation. Options include:
- General grief groups run by hospices, hospitals, funeral homes, places of worship and community centers.
- The Compassionate Friends — support for families after the death of a child of any age, with local chapters and online groups.
- TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) — support for families and friends of those who died while serving in the military or as a veteran.
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention — resources and support groups for people who have lost someone to suicide.
- Faith-based grief programs offered by many congregations.
Try more than one group if the first doesn't feel right; groups differ a lot in style.
Help for grieving children and teens
Children grieve differently from adults and often in bursts. The Dougy Center offers free guidance for parents and caregivers and a directory of children's grief programs. School counselors can also help, and it's worth letting a child's teachers know about the loss.
Counseling and therapy
Grief is not an illness, and most people do not need therapy to grieve. But professional support can help, especially if:
- the death was sudden, violent or traumatic;
- you feel stuck, numb or unable to manage daily life many months after the loss;
- you're relying on alcohol or other substances to cope; or
- you're having thoughts of not wanting to live.
Prolonged grief disorder is now a recognized diagnosis for grief that is intense and persistent long after a loss, and it can be treated. A primary care doctor can be a good first step, or look for a licensed counselor or psychologist who lists grief or bereavement as a specialty. Many employers offer free short-term counseling through an employee assistance program (EAP).
Books many people find helpful
- It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine
- Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
- A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
- The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Libraries often have grief collections, and a librarian can help you find books for specific situations or for children.
Small things that help
- Accept specific offers of help — meals, errands, childcare — and let people know what you need.
- Keep basic routines: sleep, food, some movement, time outdoors.
- Expect hard days around birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, and plan something gentle for them.
- Find a way to remember: writing, a memorial project, visiting a meaningful place. See ways to remember someone.
- Put off major decisions, like moving, for a while if you can.
Serene Farewells is an educational publisher and doesn't provide counseling. The organizations above are independent of us; we list them because they are established sources of support.
Sources and references
- 988 Lifeline: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- The Compassionate Friends: The Compassionate Friends
- Dougy Center: Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families
- TAPS: TAPS — Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Support for suicide loss survivors
- American Psychiatric Association: Prolonged Grief Disorder
Rules, benefit amounts and prices change. Where a source is a government agency, check it directly for current figures. See our sources and fact-checking policy.
This guide is general educational information from Serene Farewells, an independent publisher. It is not legal, medical, financial or tax advice, and Serene Farewells is not a funeral provider. Laws and prices vary by state and provider. Spot an error? Tell us.