How to write a eulogy
A eulogy is a short speech that helps people remember who someone was. You don't need to be a writer or a confident speaker — honesty and a few good stories are enough.
Key points
- Aim for about 3 to 7 minutes — roughly 400 to 900 words — unless the family or officiant asks otherwise.
- Build it around one or two specific stories that show the person's character.
- Write it out in full, print it in a large font, and practice reading it aloud.
Step 1: Gather memories
Spend time with photos and talk to family and friends. Useful prompts:
- What three words describe them?
- What did they do that nobody else did?
- What did they teach you? What would they say about this moment?
- Which story do people always tell about them?
Check with the family and officiant about how many people are speaking, so speakers don't repeat the same stories, and about any topics to avoid.
Step 2: Choose a focus
A eulogy is not a complete biography — the obituary covers that. Pick a theme: their generosity, their humor, their devotion to family, their stubbornness. Then choose the stories that show it.
Step 3: Use a simple structure
- Opening (30 seconds): who you are and your relationship to the person. "For those who don't know me, I'm Maria, and Joe was my uncle and my fishing partner for thirty years."
- The heart (3–5 minutes): your theme and one to three stories that illustrate it. A short sketch of their life can frame the stories if no one else is covering it.
- What they meant (1 minute): what they gave to the people in the room; what you'll carry forward.
- Closing (30 seconds): a final thought, a line they used to say, a short reading, or a direct goodbye.
Step 4: Write it the way you talk
- Use short sentences and plain words.
- Gentle humor is welcome if it fits the person; avoid jokes at anyone's expense.
- It's fine to acknowledge that the person was complicated, but a eulogy is not the place to settle disagreements.
- Quotes, poems or scripture work best kept short.
Step 5: Prepare to deliver it
- Print it in a large font (14–16 point) with wide spacing. Number the pages.
- Read it aloud several times and time it.
- Mark places to pause and breathe.
- Bring water and tissues to the lectern.
- Ask a backup person to have a copy and to step in if you can't continue. Pausing — or even stopping to cry — is completely understood.
Alternatives to one long eulogy
- Several people each speak briefly about one part of the person's life.
- An open-microphone time for anyone to share a memory, with a host to keep it moving.
- Someone else reads your eulogy if speaking would be too hard.
- Memory cards collected from guests and some read aloud.
Plan where the eulogy fits in the service with our memorial service planner. Writing the obituary too? See how to write an obituary.
This guide is general educational information from Serene Farewells, an independent publisher. It is not legal, medical, financial or tax advice, and Serene Farewells is not a funeral provider. Laws and prices vary by state and provider. Spot an error? Tell us.