How to write an obituary
An obituary tells people that someone has died, shares the service details, and offers a short portrait of their life. It doesn't need to be long or polished to be good.
Key points
- A death notice is a brief paid announcement; an obituary is a longer life story. Many families publish a short notice in print and a fuller obituary online.
- Newspapers usually charge by length or line and have deadlines; funeral home websites often post obituaries at no extra charge.
- Leave out details that could help identity thieves, such as full date of birth and mother's maiden name, and avoid announcing when the home will be empty.
A simple structure
- The announcement: full name (and nickname), age, city of residence, date of death, and — if the family wishes — where or how they died.
- Life story: where they grew up, education, work, military service, marriage and family, and what they loved. A few specific details say more than a long list.
- Family: those who survive them and, if you wish, those who died before them.
- Service details: date, time and place of the visitation, funeral, memorial or celebration of life, or a note that services will be private or held later.
- Requests: charities for donations "in lieu of flowers," a thank-you to caregivers, or where to share memories online.
Fill-in template
[Full name], [age], of [city], died [date] [optional: at home / after a long illness / surrounded by family].
[First name] was born in [place] and grew up [brief detail]. [He/She/They] [education, work, service]. [First name] married [spouse] in [year] / was the proud parent of… [One or two details about what they loved, how people will remember them.]
[First name] is survived by [relationships and names]. [First name] was preceded in death by [names].
A [service type] will be held at [time] on [date] at [place]. [Visitation details.] In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to [charity].
Use the pronouns the person used in life.
Tips for writing it
- Gather facts first. Confirm spellings of names, dates, and places with family. The funeral home can help with service details.
- Choose a tone that fits the person. Warm, formal, or with gentle humor — all are appropriate.
- Be specific. "Grew tomatoes every summer and gave most of them away" says more than "loved gardening."
- Be careful with family details. Blended families, estrangements and former spouses can be sensitive. When in doubt, discuss with close family before publishing.
- Read it aloud and ask someone else to check it.
Publishing and cost
- Newspapers: ask about price, length limits, photo charges and deadlines. Costs vary widely by paper; a short notice with a link to the full obituary online can keep costs down.
- Funeral home website: most funeral homes post obituaries online with a guest book where people can share memories.
- Social media and email: share the online obituary link with friends and community groups.
Protect against fraud
Criminals sometimes use obituaries to commit identity theft or to target empty homes during services. Consider omitting the full date of birth, the mother's maiden name, and the home address, and ask someone to stay at the house during the service.
Related
If you're also speaking at the service, see how to write a eulogy. For the service itself, try the memorial service planner.
This guide is general educational information from Serene Farewells, an independent publisher. It is not legal, medical, financial or tax advice, and Serene Farewells is not a funeral provider. Laws and prices vary by state and provider. Spot an error? Tell us.