How to Plan a Funeral: The Most Important Decisions

Key points

Start with what the person wanted and anything already arranged.
Choose a funeral home, then decide burial or cremation and the type of service.
Set a budget before choosing merchandise.
Personal touches — music, readings, stories, photos — matter more to most families than expensive items.

Want a checklist tailored to your plans? Use our funeral planning checklist. If a death has just occurred, start with what to do when someone dies.

1. The person's wishes and existing arrangements

Look for a preneed contract, cemetery deed, will, letter of instructions, or notes about wishes. A prearrangement may already name a funeral home and cover some decisions. Many states let a person name an agent to make funeral decisions; if there isn't one, state law sets the order of who has the legal right to decide — typically a spouse, then adult children, then parents, then siblings. If family members disagree, the funeral director can explain who has that authority where you live.

2. Choosing a funeral home

You can choose any funeral home. Prices for the same service can vary considerably, and under the FTC Funeral Rule you can get prices by phone and an itemized price list in person. See how to choose a funeral home.

3. Burial, cremation, or another option

This choice shapes the rest of the plan. Considerations include religious or cultural expectations, the person's wishes, whether the family wants a grave to visit, timing, budget and environmental values. Alternatives include green burial, entombment in a mausoleum, and whole-body donation. Our burial vs. cremation guide helps you think it through; see also the burial and cremation guides.

4. The type of service

Traditional funeral: usually a visitation or viewing, then a service with the body present, followed by burial or cremation.
Graveside service: a short service at the cemetery, alone or after a funeral.
Memorial service: a service without the body present, often after cremation, which can be held days or months later.
Celebration of life: usually a less formal gathering focused on stories and the person's personality.
Private or no service, if that's what the person wanted.

See alternatives to a traditional funeral.

5. Budget

Decide on a total budget before choosing a casket, urn or extras, and keep the funeral home's itemized price list in front of you. The funeral cost calculator shows what each element typically costs. Look into veterans benefits, life insurance and other help; see funeral costs and financial help.

6. Timing, place and people

When: consider travel time for family, religious customs about timing, cemetery and venue availability, and whether the death certificate or a medical examiner's release may affect the schedule.
Where: a funeral home chapel, place of worship, cemetery, or another venue. Check capacity, accessibility, parking and audio-visual equipment.
Who: an officiant (clergy, celebrant or family member), speakers, readers, musicians and pallbearers (usually six to eight people for a casket).

7. Personal touches

Music, readings, a eulogy, a slideshow, a memory table with photos and objects, and the person's favorite flowers are often what people remember. See personalizing a funeral, how to write a eulogy, and our memorial service planner.

8. Notices and communication

Call close family and friends personally before posting publicly.
Write an obituary or death notice — see how to write an obituary.
Decide whether to suggest donations to a charity in place of flowers.
Share service details by phone, email, or a funeral home's online obituary page.

9. Paperwork

Death certificate: the funeral home usually files it and can order certified copies. Decide how many you'll need for insurers, banks and agencies.
Permits: burial or cremation requires a permit or authorization, usually obtained by the funeral home.
Veterans: locate discharge papers (often a DD-214) to request a flag, honors, a headstone or burial in a national cemetery.
Benefits: contact Social Security about survivor benefits and life insurers about claims.

10. After the service

Consider a reception or gathering, thank-you notes, the placement of the urn or the setting of a headstone (which often happens months later), and support for anyone struggling. See grief support resources.

Sources and references

Federal Trade Commission: Shopping for Funeral Services
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: Burials and memorials
CDC National Center for Health Statistics: Where to Write for Vital Records

Rules, benefit amounts and prices change. Where a source is a government agency, check it directly for current figures. See our sources and fact-checking policy.

This guide is general educational information from Serene Farewells, an independent publisher. It is not legal, medical, financial or tax advice, and Serene Farewells is not a funeral provider. Laws and prices vary by state and provider. Spot an error? Tell us.